If you win, you have friends

The Loneliness of Speaking Up

There is a sentence that has followed me through life like a shadow. A lyric written by the late Herman Brood that shaped the way I look at humanity itself:

“If you win, you have friends. Crowds of so called real friends. If you win, you’re never lonely anymore, as long as you keep winning.”

The older I get, the more I realize how painfully true those words are.

People love success. They gather around strength, fame, popularity, and certainty. But the moment you say something uncomfortable, the moment you refuse to walk with the crowd, many disappear. Some even turn against you completely. Friendship suddenly becomes conditional. Respect becomes temporary. Loyalty becomes an illusion.

And then I think about the word humankind.

Human kind.

What a strange word for a species that often shows so little kindness toward its own people. We destroy each other emotionally, mentally, and physically. We chase power and money while pretending morality matters. We judge before listening. We attack before understanding. Sometimes I honestly wonder if kindness is the exception rather than the rule.

I have always been different. Even as a child, people could immediately see what I felt. If I was sad, it showed. If something touched me deeply, everyone noticed. I never learned how to manipulate people or hide behind masks. What you see is what you get. That honesty made me vulnerable from a very young age.

I became a target for bullying because of it.

But perhaps the hardest part was not being sensitive. The hardest part was my inability to ignore injustice. If something feels wrong to me, then it is wrong, no matter how many people scream otherwise. I cannot silence that feeling inside myself. I cannot betray my conscience just to be accepted.

Some people call that courage.

Others call it insanity.

I have heard both throughout my life.

Years of bullying taught me how dark people can become. But they also taught me endurance. They taught me how to keep walking when everything inside you wants to collapse. They taught me that survival sometimes means standing completely alone while the world points at you.

And still, after all those years, two days ago something broke me again.

I read an article about an Arab family burying their relative near an Israeli town. The story hit me deeply because it reminded me of my own father lying in his coffin. Grief does not have a nationality. Pain does not belong to one side only. Death humbles every human being equally.

So I wrote about it emotionally and honestly, exactly as I felt it.

The article exploded overnight.

And then the hatred came.

I was accused of being manipulated by anti Israel movements in Europe. Me. A person who has spent hler entire life refusing to be influenced by anyone. People who had known me for years suddenly called me a Nazi lover because I dared to criticize a line that I believe should never be crossed.

Later I learned there were claims that the family may have acted with hidden intentions. Maybe that is true. Maybe it is not. But even if it were true, I still believe civilians should never dig up a corpse. That belongs to law enforcement, not angry mobs. Human dignity should not disappear because emotions run high.

And for saying that, people attacked me as if I had betrayed them.

That is the tragedy of modern humanity. Nuance no longer exists. The moment you criticize one action, people assume you have joined the enemy. They no longer listen. They no longer ask questions. They simply condemn.

No, I am not a Nazi.

No, I am not pro Palestinian.

And no, I do not defend Israel because I dream of living there anymore. After experiencing indifference and bureaucracy myself, even that dream faded away.

What remains is something much simpler.

A need for justice.

That is all.

I know many people do not understand me. Truthfully, I do not think they ever will. I have never really had crowds of friends. I have mostly walked through life alone with my thoughts, my convictions, and my refusal to stay silent.

But what hurts me most is not disagreement.

It is the cruelty.

The speed with which people destroy each other emotionally. The ease with which they label someone evil simply because they spoke from the heart. The complete absence of compassion in a world that constantly pretends compassion matters.

And so I return once more to those lyrics.

“If you win, you have friends. Crowds of so called real friends. If you win, you’re never lonely anymore, as long as you keep winning.”

Perhaps that is the painful truth about humanity.

People love you when your voice comforts them.

But the moment your truth makes them uncomfortable, you discover just how lonely honesty can be.

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